Another Baby!

I always knew that I wanted a big family. Derek, on the other hand, said that he'd be happy just having Scotty. Of course, I wasn't going to let that happen. I love children! Although I wanted another baby so bad, I was terrified. In the past couple of years, I had a family member suffer a miscarriage, a friend from high school lose her baby at 39 weeks from a nuchal cord x 2 and true knot, and my best friend went in to find out if she was having a boy or girl...instead she found out the baby had passed and she'd have to labor and deliver that baby. I was scared because I couldn't imagine any of these things happening to me. I also couldn't live my life based on what ifs. I had to trust that my life was planned out for me and the will of God is all that mattered.
Derek and I had just finished fasting for Lent so we went out to have a huge sushi lunch. After lunch we went to do some shopping. I had been having awkward dreams and just felt different, so while we were at the store I bought two pregnancy tests. When we got home, I took them. I came out of the bathroom and told Derek he had to go back to the store and buy two more. I wanted to make sure what I was reading was correct. So he did. Sure enough, we were having another baby! I was thrilled. My eyes filled with tears and I couldn't stop smiling. Derek was pretty excited too! Although he had always said he'd be content with one kid, I knew the moment we found out we were having another one he'd be ecstatic.
First, we told Scotty. We asked him how he'd like to be a big brother. He really didn't have much to say. Then we told him that mommy had a baby in her belly. That's when he smiled and got excited. We let Scotty tell our parents that our family of three would soon be a family of four. Once again, happiness filled everyone's hearts. Baby Johnson #2 was on the way.

Psalm 139:13  "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb."

I prayed each and every night that God wrap his hands around my womb and keep my baby safe. I asked for a happy and healthy baby. I asked God to blanket me with peace because I was so frightened. I cried many times.

We went to California when I was 12 weeks along because Derek's brother was getting married. Since we'd be out there, we thought we'd extend our trip and go see my cousin in San Francisco. A little family vacation...something we hadn't done in quite a while.

Wedding day came and we all got dolled up to go see my brother-in-law tie the knot. What an exciting day this was for him and the rest of the family. The ceremony took place in someone's back yard. It was a beautiful setting...just perfect for an outdoor wedding. Everything went great! We headed off to the reception to celebrate the newly wed couple. As we waited for the bride and groom to get there I felt like I was going to pee myself. It was way too early in the pregnancy for this to be happening. I headed to the bathroom and experienced one of the worst moments ever...bright red blood. I ran out of the bathroom and told Derek we had to leave. We needed to get to the hospital fast. I was terrified that I was going to lose my baby. I prayed and prayed and prayed. Why? Especially why on that specific day. We were supposed to be enjoying my brother-in-laws wedding. We were supposed to be celebrating our sister-in-law. We were not supposed to be spending the night in the ER. 

God answered many people's prayers that night. When they finally got be back to a room and did a sonogram, we saw exactly what we wanted to see. Fetal heart tones! My baby was okay...at least for the time being according to the ER doc. I was to go back to the hotel and stay on bed rest. Our trip to San Francisco needed to be cancelled and I was to see an OB on Monday morning. We followed all instructions. This baby was way too important. 

The OB I saw was totally reassuring. He told me that stuff like this happens all the time. Sometimes the placenta tears away from the wall and causes bleeding. My OB back home would be able to tell me more when I had my 20 week sonogram. We came back home, I saw my OB, and he told me I was to take it easy. No more working out, no heavy lifting or household cleaning, and if I felt anything out of the ordinary I was to call. I did everything the doctor said, and I bought a doppler to monitor my baby's heart beat at home.

Time went by and I felt great...other than the continuous all day sickness I had. I couldn't eat anything but spinach sandwiches and mac and cheese. Every now and then I'd get a craving for a hamburger, which I never ate beforehand, and when I gave in this baby was happy. It was time for our 20 week sonogram. We were going to find out what we were having, although I already knew it was a boy...call it mother's intuition, and we were going to find out what had happened 8 weeks prior that landed me in the ER. 

As we all know, we found out we were being joined by another little boy. Scotty was not happy. He wanted a sister so badly. Eventually he grew into the idea of having a baby brother. What we didn't find out is why I started bleeding. Everything on the sonogram looked completely normal. My OB and the sonographer could come up with nothing. Just a fluke???

Christmas was rapidly approaching, and so was my due date...December 27th. This is the date we had chosen to do a repeat c-section. We had originally talked about doing a VBAC, but after going over my charts and remembering that a vertical incision was made with Scotty, I wasn't a candidate for one. The doctor had wanted to do the c-section on December 23rd, but there was no way I was going to be in the hospital for Christmas. Especially since it was the first year Scotty had really been into Santa and the whole Christmas spirit, and it was his last Christmas as an only child.

It was two weeks before my due date when we went in for my weekly appointment. I knew that something felt off. The baby hadn't been moving nearly as much as he normally did...and he would move a lot. He was a very active baby. That morning when I had checked his heart beat, it seemed a little slower than normal. When my OB checked his heart beat, he too said it was slower than he would have liked it to be. He put me on a fetal monitor and didn't receive the results he was hoping for. He did another sonogram to check amniotic fluid levels, movement, and fetal heart tones. For the most part everything seemed normal, but he wanted me to be monitored for a few hours. Off I went to labor and delivery triage to be hooked up and checked out. I cried. The nurses at the hospital were great. They reassured me that stuff like this happens all the time. First they had me drink some ice water to see if they could get the baby's heart rate to jump. No luck. Then they made me eat a big bomb pop. The rush of sugar made me feel like I was going to be sick, but the baby sure loved it. His heart rate jumped to 140 + and he started moving like crazy. It was time for me to go home. 

Still, I felt like something was wrong. I assumed it was my paranoia. After all, I saw the monitors with my own eyes, heard his heart rate accelerate, and felt the movements for sure. But, still...something seemed off. .

Back to the OB one week before baby Daniel would join our family. Same thing happened. The doctor was having a hard time finding a good, strong heart beat. Back on the fetal monitors. A nurse came in and was pushing on my belly. Soon enough his heart rate jumped to the 150's. It was decided that this baby was stubborn...just like his daddy! This time I got to go home instead of the hospital. Again, something just didn't feel right. I knew how active this child had been all the months past. For him to be moving as little as he was made me nervous. I also knew it was normal for movement to slow down right before delivery, so once again I assumed it was my paranoia.

 December 23rd I started feeling the sharpest contractions ever. I was up all night crying. However, I wasn't dilating and I wasn't effacing, so I was determined to deal with the contractions so Scotty could have a great Christmas. Those contractions lasted for four days. 

December 27th...it was the BIG DAY! My c-section was scheduled for 12:30 p.m. and I was to check in a couple of hours prior. Derek and I were both very excited. We dropped Scotty off at my parents around 10 a.m. and headed to the hospital. Nurse Jennifer took me into triage, had me change, and hooked me up to the monitors. Immediately I knew something was wrong. The look on her face said it all. Another nurse walked in and asked me if there were any issues during the pregnancy. I told her about my 12 week scare and how the baby was being stubborn the past few weeks. She walked out of the room. When she came back in she told me that the doctor had an opening in his schedule and that I'd be going back early. Things started moving rapidly. I knew something was going on. The anesthesiologist came in and quickly went over my spinal tap options. My OB came in and told me that he thought the baby had passed meconium, so the NICU nurses would be in the OR with me and I wouldn't hear the baby cry immediately. Before he had even finished the sentence, I was being wheeled back. I told Derek to call my mom and let her know we were going early. 

Spinal tap was in place, Derek was sitting next to me, and the surgery had started. I was holding Derek's thumb and telling him how I felt smothered. I hated the numerous amounts of blankets that were covering me and I wanted them off. I'd rather be cold than feel like I was suffocating. I also hated the oxygen mask. I thought I was going to have a panic attack This time, the c-section felt like it was taking forever. Then I heard the doctor say he was in and he the baby had in fact passed meconium. Tubes were being put down my baby's throat so they could suction out his lungs before any of it was aspirated. Tubes came out and it was time to finish delivering. My baby still hadn't cried. He should have cried by now. Then, my world came to a stop. I heard the doctor say the ever so terrifying words..."We have a nuchal cord x 2. The umbilical cord is also wrapped around the baby's arm and leg." My stomach started to churn and I squeezed Derek's finger. Our baby still hadn't cried. Then I heard even more terrifying news, " We have a true knot." I looked around the room and everyone but the NICU nurses and OB were standing still and staring. At least that's how it seemed. I squeezed Derek's finger even harder. I then looked up. I stared straight at the ceiling and prayed. I told God that whatever His will may be we would accept. I told Him that I knew His plan was best. I then pled to Him with all my heart that His will be life for my baby. If anything, I would rather Him take me. I finished as we do in Orthodoxy. I prayed in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. At that moment, I heard my baby boy cry. I was so happy. I looked over at Derek and he had a big grin on his face. A few seconds later, he passed out. Derek came to, my baby boy was crying, and as I looked over at him one of the NICU nurses mouthed to me that he was going to be okay. Then, she wrapped him up and handed him over to his dad, who brought him over to me. Thank you Jesus for my miracle!

December 27, 2011...Daniel James joined our family at 12:08 p.m.  

Nurse Jennifer walked into my room before she went home. She gave me a big hug and told me that she was so happy I was scheduled that day and that time and not any later. She thanked God right along with Derek and me. 

Meconium...this is the first stool a baby passes. During fetal distress, meconium can be passed in utero. If aspirated, the baby can have long term respiratory problems and in some cases it can be fatal.

Nuchal Cord...this is when the umbilical cord is wrapped around the baby's neck. The x 2 means it was wrapped around twice. Although nuchal cords are common they can be fatal.

True Knot...a true knot is when a knot forms in the umbilical cord. This happens more often in extremely active babies and those with longer umbilical cords. If the true knot tightens during pregnancy, oxygen is cut off from the baby and a fatality will occur. 

What if I had been a candidate for VBAC and had labored? What if we had chosen to have our baby a day later? What if I hadn't prayed to God each and every night? 

Again, I can't live my life based on what ifs. All I can do is thank God and Jesus Christ each and every day for my baby boy. I truly believe that he is meant to be here. Maybe he'll do big things in life. Maybe not. What I do know is that he's made my relationship to God the strongest that it's ever been.

Psalms 34:4 "I sought the Lord, and he answered me, and delivered me from all my fears."