You Did What?!

I knew that Derek had always wanted to be a cop. I also knew that there was no way that was ever going to happen...not as long as he was married to me. The thought of my husband putting himself in danger each and everyday was not something I could deal with.
It had been a while since I had heard Derek speak of being a police officer, so I was surprised when he brought it up one day. He told me that he had done a ton of research and that the city of Fort Worth had a very extensive training program. They had one of the lowest numbers of officer fatalities. Their program lasted much longer than most and their standards surpassed those that were required nationally. I suppose he was feeling me out...seeing what my response would be. He received the same response he had received time and time again. I would NEVER be the wife of an officer. It was something I knew I couldn't handle. The worry alone would either kill me or drive me mad. So we left it at that. Then after a few weeks I started thinking. Who was I to hold him back? I knew he was miserable getting up and going to work everyday. He had a job that paid the bills, not one that made him happy. So I went home and told Derek to go ahead and apply to the city of Fort Worth, and we'd see what came of it. He informed me that he already had. "You did WHAT?! How could you possibly...behind my back!" He told me that he knew I'd probably be against it. He just wanted to know if they would even consider him.
I don't quite remember if it was a call or a letter that Derek received, but I do know he had a big smile on his face when he told me that the city wanted him to start the interview process. I didn't know what to say. He told me to take a few days and think about it. He'd do whatever made me happy. So, I walked into our bathroom, dropped to my knees, and prayed. I prayed that God would send me some sort of sign letting me know what my answer should be. I didn't want to hold Derek back, but I was scared. "Dear Lord, please tell me what to do."
Later that night I was checking my email Derek's aunt had sent me a message. I don't remember exactly what the email said, but it tied into fear and having faith. The last line stood out to me like nothing ever had before. The last line read, "The will of God will never take you where the grace of God will not protect you." That was my answer. God had answered me and it was time for me to go deliver the news. I told Derek to go ahead with the interview process. We would see where this lead and make a decision from there. This was in the fall of 2009. The process could take months.

January 13, 2010...I was on my way to have surgery done on my wrists. My mom and I were driving South on Cooper St. by Arlington High School when we were detoured. There were police cars, fire trucks, and ambulances everywhere. My mom wondered what had happened. I told her I hoped a student hadn't been hit trying to cross the street. She agreed.
As I came out of surgery, I was a little groggy. Apparently not groggy enough because I overheard one nurse telling another that the traffic was being caused and roads were shut down because an officer had died. When I got home I turned on the news, and heard the tragic event that happened to officer Craig Story. I sat on my couch and cried. I knew that Derek had completed the final phase of the interview process and was waiting for a response on whether he had been accepted into the Fort Worth Police Academy. Hearing about Craig Story made all my fears so real again. Then, Derek got the call. Fort Worth wanted him as a recruit. Only one thing stood between him and his dream...me. He told me, once again, to think about it and let him know what I wanted him to do.
All I could think about was what I was going to say to him. I wanted so desperately for him to be happy, but I was thinking about our son and so selfishly thinking about myself. Would I be able to handle this? I pulled over to the side of the road on my way home from work a couple of days later and cried. As I cried, I prayed. I prayed and I prayed and I prayed. I didn't know what else to do. I didn't have to know. God did. When I went home, I logged into my email and I couldn't believe it. Derek's grandpa had sent me a message and the last line of his message read, "The will of God will never take you where the grace of God will not protect you." Without a doubt in my mind I knew exactly what to do. I marched into the living room and told Derek that he had my blessing.
September 24, 2010 I stood at Derek's graduation as the proud wife of Officer Derek Johnson. He graduated first in his class and was happier than I had ever seen him be. I knew, God knew, that this is Derek's calling in life.

  Psalm 32:8 “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you."